and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
