It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Well I just put wine in my tea
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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