we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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