The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
