I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
