Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
