remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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