how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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