Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
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