I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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