I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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