Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
