I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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