Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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