she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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