Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
