I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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