if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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