But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
