haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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