Your tits are I can't wait for
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
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My thoughts exactly.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
