Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Dicks are not precious.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
