Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize