1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
