Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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