All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
