I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
