i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
