Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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