Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize