She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We are all done wearing pants today
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
