so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
