matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
