I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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