guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
from now on my penis is your penis
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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