At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
