I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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