dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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