the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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