Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
