this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I touched a dick in church today
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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