I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize