just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm way too hungover for life right now
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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