Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize