I showed him my bush... on skype.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Green mimosas i think yes
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
