So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize