I just cut my nipple shaving
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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