oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
