I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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