I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
