i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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