If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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