Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
