It's like God shit irony all over that family
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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