Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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