he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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