Me too!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
God, I missed his penis.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
