that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I think your dad took our porno
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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