It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
