ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
