Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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