haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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