She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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