nut hugger
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
