the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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