She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
