Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
