But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
