TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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