dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
