to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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