kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I miss vodka workout Fridays
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
