Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
