so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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