Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize