hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
