Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
