i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize