I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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