oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
