Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
