I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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