They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
high people should be assigned attendants
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
