you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize